ANX - Grouch & Eligh ft. Prof

If we never faced struggle in the bubble well that's a curse. My nerves stirred worse drinking numb numb juice to quench thirst. What they call it liquid courage for? When after it's over you're weaker than before

I was 14 and lost beyond belief. My parents had recently split and I just started high school where I knew only 2 people. Puberty hit me rather late and I was the smallest freshman who's voice had barely cracked. I got tossed into garbage cans on a regular basis by the seniors and was somewhat terrified. The task of fitting in was insurmountable, but I found solace in hip-hop. At that impressionable age Blackalicious, Gangstarr and Living Legends were the ones that helped me get through some tough nights. A year or two later I remember hearing Silly Puddy and felt that song was written for me. 

Grouch & Eligh became my mentor of sorts and it's amazing to think that I grew up with these guys in my headphones. Their struggles mirrored many of mine and I still use their songs to help motivate me. This most recent triple album, The Tortoise and The Crow, is the culmination of years of personal development. While at times it may came of as preachy it's clear to me that both these artists genuinely care about their audience. They want to make things better. This particular song dives into to an anxiety disorder that plagues Eligh and touches on how Grouch turned alcohol to deal with his problems. Both of these men have grown and found ways to positively take on their issues. If you need a solid pick me up album give this one a go. 

Lyrics: ANX - Grouch and Eligh ft. Prof

[Verse 1: Eligh]

A convict in my own body
Crazy's what they think about me
Odds what they call me
I can feel the pressure in my chest push down on me
Nervous system vibration so uncomfortable and dis-arming
Man, he's so chill, never talks to much he looks so peaceful in his ways
But you turn him inside out you see the beast is on display
And the prayers on repeat in the brain, no fair
No contest in the game that's lost over and over again my friend
Chronic is the way to explain intensity and velocity
Feelings keep accosting me like a young bully in a dark ally with mis-directed animosity
Most friends can't comprehend your plight
Which isolates you further inward to make a harder fight
I swing my right hand then my left, trying to catch my sanity and my breath
Sometimes I can't stand to be me, that's just a fact
ANX my anthrax and a blessing in disguise
To help my open up my inner eyes

[Hook: Eligh]

I'm a feel these feelings but ill never let them take me over
Yea it hurts for a minute, but I take it to the limit I'm a soldier
Repeat

I'm a fortunate one, a fortunate one (x4)

[Verse 2: The Grouch]

We don't come into this world knowin' all, growin' backwards
If we never faced struggle in the bubble well that's a curse
My nerves stirred worse
Drinking numb numb juice to quench thirst
What they call it liquid courage for?
When after it's over you're weaker than before
Your powers' got to reach you at the source
Build it up like blocks little boys
In a box with many locks, a few keys
Relearning how to breathe maybe a very basic tool to set you free
Now fly like an eagle
I'm dropping all this baggage
Gonna ride like a Regal
Cause I don't like not being
Controller of my destiny in charge of my feelings
Anxiety, stress, panic, depressed
Can you make it past that? Yes!

[Hook: Eligh]

I'm a feel these feelings but ill never let them take me over
Yeah it hurts for a minute, but I take it to the limit I'm a soldier (x2)

[The Grouch]

I'm a fortunate one, a fortunate one (x4)

[Verse 3: Prof]

Can't get away, It's like I'm froze in time
How people find their happiness, It blows my mind
I'm not easily confused but i'm not easily amused either
Back broke, knee blown out, hold tight
People looking' at me like I'm on the wrong flight
Put on my clown face, swallow down a cinder block
Anxiety biting me weather if it's win or not
I know everybody but I don't know anybody
Anybody out there? Tell me who do really love me
I'm an astronaut lost in space
Sittin' here, touching' myself like I've lost my face
I haven't seen green leaves on a tree in a grip
It's grey outside and it smells like piss
But i'm a Samsonite man, gotta keep it rollin' on
Mama didn't raise no bitch, so a soldier wrong

[Hook]

[Prof]

I'm a fortunate one, a fortunate one (x4)